Placing your baby for adoption is one of the hardest times in your life. You give so much love not only to your baby, but to your baby’s adoptive parents. This takes incredible strength. Pregnancy can be scary for all women. But birthmothers must make tough decisions, and handle emotions few people can understand. You need support – from a parent, partner, family member or trusted friend – to overcome these challenges.

Adoption counselors help you with every step of the adoption process. They, as well as other in your support network, can help you make decisions about your adoption, and guide you through the healing process after your baby is placed. But, for them to help you, they need to know what you’re struggling with. These are some questions you may want to ask your adoption counselor, so you know what to expect practically and emotionally through the adoption process:

Can I choose the adoptive parents for my child?

All adoption agencies will let the birthmother decide which parents they want to place their baby with. You’ll be able to choose the parents prior to delivering your child and have an ongoing relationship with the family if you want. It’s your decision if you want to have an open or closed adoption.

Can I receive financial assistance during my pregnancy?

The adoptive family may cover some or all of the costs related to pregnancy, from prenatal vitamins to mental health counseling after the birth, depending on state laws. Sometimes adoptive parents know the birthmother is going through a difficult time and will volunteer to help with rent, utilities, transportation, and other costs.

Can I see my baby after the adoption?

An open adoption allows you to negotiate the terms of post-adoption contact with the adoptive family if an open adoption is your preference. Some adoptive parents are more than happy to send you pictures, letters, and even connect on social media. It all depends on the family, and your wishes after the baby is born. This is up to you, so if you want an open adoption, make that clear with the parents.

What happens after my baby is placed?

After your baby is adopted, the adoptive parents will receive routine checkups from a social worker. They make take the baby home directly from the hospital. This is an important time for them to bond and focus on the care of your baby.