Everyone talks about the moment after you find out you’re pregnant. That it must be so hard, or that you must’ve panicked or felt so completely overwhelmed. But chances are, you knew. You knew the moment something changed. You may not have been sure, but you knew something was different. And that something was, in fact, your baby. Deciding what to do after the realization can be the hard part.

You have options if you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy. There are open and closed adoptions, as well as a variety of parenting techniques and resources to help you adjust to the role of the mother if that is what you want. There is no right or wrong answer. In fact, every mother’s journey through pregnancy and the decision to raise or place their baby with an adoptive family is totally unique.

Friends, family and the father will all have their opinions. However, most of them will give you full support in your decision. If one of these people isn’t supportive, then you should ask yourself, “Do I need their approval to make my decision?” Sometimes you will, but often times their opinion is just that – an opinion. It is not their body who will be housing this baby for nine months, nor will it be their heart that yearns for only the best for the child.

You need to take some time to make this choice. Write out your feelings, talk it out, do whatever you need to do to assure yourself of the choice you make. And if you’re still having trouble making the decision, ask yourself, “What are my instincts telling me to do?”  

If you’re thinking about keeping the baby for someone else, or because you feel like you’d be disappointing someone, you need to remove them from the picture and do what’s best for you. However, if you’re trying to make excuses to keep the baby, or are dreading the day where you’ll have to let him or her go, then absolutely go with your heart.

Would you raise this baby if it were only you?

This is a question every mother should ask, whether she wants to have a baby or is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Whatever decision you make, know that you are supported by those that love you, and those that have shared the same journey.