Many birthmothers never get the chance to know their children after they are placed in an adoptive family. It is a sad reality, but many birthmothers live with the worry that they may have disappointed their children or caused pain in their lives because they chose adoption. But, after hearing countless stories from adoptive children, we believe the opposite is true. Many adopted children admire their birthmothers and wish they could show their thanks for the sacrifices they made.

Here are sentiments we hear across the board from children when they talk about why they are thankful for their birthmother’s choice:

You chose life for them.

In the past, almost all unmarried mothers were forced to give their children for adoption or keep them in hiding. But today things have changed and mothers do not have to make that choice if they do not want to. The fact that you chose life for that child means more to them than anything.

You sacrificed your body for them without asking anything in return.

Everyone knows that pregnancy is very hard on the body. The birthmother gives her body selflessly to care for her unborn baby, a gift that could never be repaid by any child. Everyone appreciates the sacrifice their mothers made to bring them into the world, but an adoptive child knows his or her mother did so solely because she felt it was the right thing to do.

You chose the family that they know and love.

Adopted children have a special bond with their parents because they know the struggle they had to overcome to have children, especially with an adoption route. But you were the one who gave their parents that gift. You were the one who gave them the perfect family to grow up in. They will always be appreciative of you because you gave them the best family possible.

You are part of their identity.

Many adopted children want to know their birthparents to learn about where they came from and what cultural background their birthparents had that their adoptive parents didn’t. It oftentimes helps them understand why the birthparents chose adoption and can give them a greater sense of appreciation for the decision to place them in an adoptive home.

You opened the doors to all the opportunities they have now.

Your child will know that they owe all their early childhood opportunities to you, whether directly or indirectly. You gave them the gift of life and the gift of a wonderful family who provided everything else. You were the source of their positive future and part of what makes them a unique individual.