The big day has come and gone. You’ll never forget all the emotions you were flooded with as you welcomed your little one into the world…and then said goodbye when it was time to let him join his adoptive family. Your body physically hurts, and your heart is a jumble of confusing, rollercoaster emotions.

What now?

Here are a few ways to take care of yourself –

1. Just rest.

Really, just let yourself rest. Even if you have to go back to school or a job soon after giving birth, when you’re not doing that, rest. Birth is a big deal by itself, but you also made a difficult choice when you brought your adoption plan to completion and sent your baby to his new family. You did it! You need rest to heal from all of that.

2. Exercise is good too.

It’s not the opposite of rest. Rather, exercise (as approved by your doctor) can help you rest better. As your body recovers, exercise can help you heal. Talk to your doctor about what is best for you. Once you get started, you’ll find that exercise can relax your mind and help you physically relax later. Exercise itself, even small amounts of walking, can help you process your feelings. It can also help you feel better mentally.

3. Treat yourself. 

Maybe you’ve wanted to get your hair cut or your nails done. Or maybe you just need a new book to read. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to treat yourself to something as you go forward with your healing. (No money? Hit the library. Check with your friends to see who might be skilled in hair or nails. Bake a cake with family. You can treat yourself even if money is an issue.)

4. If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, seek a counselor.

Your adoption counselor might be able to talk with you, or he or she can refer you to someone who can help you process your adoption experience so far. Good mental health is important, and sometimes after giving birth, women experience the blues or even postpartum depression. Talk therapy can go a long way in helping you take care of yourself.

Be kind, gentle, and patient with yourself. You’ve been through a big ordeal, both physically and emotionally. You need time to heal, time to process, and time to just be you. It’s okay to take that time. In fact, it’s important – you are important.