Bonding with Your Baby During Pregnancy
Birthmothers have little precious time to bond with their newborns. Most women, if they’ve already decided on adoption, place their children in adoptive homes within one to three days of birth which is a special time for moDo Birthmothers Get to Pick Their Baby’s Name?
The expecting mother’s bookshelf likely has at least one “baby name book,” tucked away and highlighted with her favorite names for her child-to-be. Naming is ceremonial, and a great honor for the parent because it gives their child a unique identity that represents who they hope their child will grow up to be.
As a birthmother, you may not have thought about naming your child before. But it’s important to consider since some adoptive parents choose to keep their child’s birth names after adoption. Giving your baby a name that is special to you could be special to your adoptive parents as well. It represents your heritage and your love for the child.
However, be aware that the adoptive parents may want to change the name to something they’ve chosen too. You should have a conversation about this with the adoptive parents, so it won’t come as a shock. Many open adoptions encourage parents to pick the name together, or combine both the birthmother and adoptive parents’ desired names.
If you place your child for adoption long after the birth (a year or more), usually the adoptive parents will keep the name you’ve chosen. They may want to change the middle name to something they wanted; but, after a year most children start to associate with words and primarily names.
It can be hard if the adoptive parents decide not to use your chosen name. Legally adoptive parents have the rights to change the child’s name; but, many chose to honor the birthmother by keeping the name. Open adoptions encourage birthmothers and families to communicate their wants and feelings so that both can come to a mutual understanding. If you build a relationship with the adoptive parents that extends past the birth they are more likely to want to know why you’ve chosen a particular name for your baby.
Even if you choose to have a closed adoption you may want to pick a name for yourself to call your baby. It will help you bond and will honor the special place in your heart for your child. After the adoption you can always refer to your baby by the name you give him or her regardless of what the adoptive parents decide. It’s for your emotional healing and your connection with the child you so lovingly brought into the world.
ther and child that can be deeply missed. As a birthmother, you should appreciate the time you have bonding before the delivery. It gives you the time you need to show how much you love your child, and will lead to a healthier and happier pregnancy for you.
Mothers bond with their children in many ways before their deliveries. You mean the entire world to your unborn child. It is a wonderful responsibility, and brings the two of you closer than anyone else can understand. Becoming a birthmother will be difficult when you place your baby in their new home, but there are many things you can do to bond with your baby during the pregnancy:
Prenatal massage is often your baby’s first contact with the outside world. They can feel when you massage your abdomen which can provoke movement or cause the baby to turn in the womb. It is one of the most basic ways to nurture your baby in the womb. Prenatal massages can also help soothe muscle cramps and pain.
Talk to your baby. It’s no myth that talking, singing, and playing music to your baby is both soothing and positive to their development. Babies can hear sounds beginning at eighteen weeks of pregnancy and will start to respond to voices after 25 weeks. Your voice will be the first the child will recognize and respond to, which is a very special honor.
Take photos. You may not always receive photos from your child’s life after you place them in the adoptive family’s home. However, you can keep ultrasound photos forever. These are important keepsakes, along with photos you take of yourself during pregnancy. After the birth, you may want to remember how you felt during the pregnancy. You’ll also feel a closer bond to the child by looking at pictures as you watch them grow.
Keep a journal. Write down your thoughts about your baby all throughout your pregnancy. This time will be when you are closest to your child, and you will want to keep these memories with you forever. Journaling your activity will also help you better understand your baby when they are born. Do they move a lot? Do they kick? Remembering moments like these will help you bond with your child.
How have you bonded with your baby during pregnancy?