Are You Still a Mom After Your Baby is Placed?
Birthmothers often don’t receive credit for their amazing story after the baby is placed in the adoptive home. Some moms feel confused after the delivery, because they don’t know whether to call themselves a mom anymore or not. The biological mother is technically not a “birthmom” until the delivery. Until then, she is still considered just the mother by most people. Birthmoms have the right to change their minds until the delivery, which is when the journey of the birthmom begins.
Your place in your child’s life is completely up to you after adoption. Many women choose to have open adoptions because they want to know their baby and have the baby know them when they are old enough to understand what an adoption is. Others choose to have a closed adoption, and that is perfectly O.K. It all depends on whether or not the mother is comfortable having a relationship with the child or not. For some it’s best to choose a closed adoption. This doesn’t mean that the mother isn’t a mother anymore, either.
You’ll always feel like a mom even after you adopt. Your maternal instincts will show when you’re around other people’s children, and even in your adult relationships. The term “birthmother” highlights the most significant part of any mother’s journey, especially one who made the courageous choice to place her baby in an adoptive home. You, the birth mom, will always be a mom at heart. No label can take away the beautiful gift of motherhood from you.
One day you may have children again, and decide that you are ready to raise them. When the time comes, you’ll not only be a birthmother, but a mother as well. At the time of pregnancy, you’ll feel like a mom again. The same feelings will arise when you’re pregnant as a birthmom. This is true even if you haven’t delivered the child. The love you have for your baby is still the same.
When your child goes to live with his or her adoptive family, a part of you will go with them. A part of your heart will stay with your baby, but the part you give to them will be filled with joy and love. You will sometimes ache, and wish for them to be with you. But nothing will ever take away the love you two share.