Making the Courageous Choice
Imagining an adoption is nearly impossible. When you first find out you’re pregnant, it’s so hard to know what you’ll do in the end. Because the media doesn’t talk about what it’s like to be a birth mom, it’s s difficult to understand that choice, let alone relate to it. Could I be a birthmother? You never know how to answer that question, no matter how many times you ask yourself.
Some birthmothers are lucky to have friends or family that have placed their children for adoption. But even they have a hard time believing that they could do the same. Many women don’t have a friend to help them understand what it means to be a birthmother. They struggle with the decision too, thinking that adoption seems like the hardest route. Before and after pregnancy, adoption is described as both a blessing and a hardship, no matter who you ask.
Being a birthmother takes courage. They’re right when they say it won’t be easy. But, you’ll have the joy of knowing your child, which makes the tough decisions clearer and the hard times easier. When you know your child, and know that he or she will be safe in a loving home, fear becomes a motivator to overcome the adversity. Adoption is a courageous choice, and any woman who makes that choice is a hero.
However, it’s always ok to say “I don’t know.” It’s completely normal to have doubts about adoption, especially because you have no idea what to expect. Oftentimes, adoption is the hardest choice for a mother to make because it can be so hard to relate. They have books on how to be a mother, but it’s completely different to learn how to be a birthmother. You have to learn from others’ experiences, and hopefully be encouraged to do the same for yourself and your baby.
All birthmoms will handle the choice for adoption differently. You will grieve, but eventually your grief will turn into acceptance that your courageous choice was in fact the best choice. You may feel angry or regretful at times, but your strength will pull you through the best and worst of your emotions. Making the courageous choice of adoption is the best gift you can give to your child.