Choosing Adoption Doesn’t Mean a Woman Doesn’t Love Her Baby
The love a mother has for her child is indescribable. You hear of stories everyday of brave, loving mothers who sacrifice everything to ensure their children’s happiness and safety. Bonds between a mother and child are sealed at birth, and no one could ever break that binding love, including the choice to place a child for adoption. Just because a woman has chosen adoption doesn’t mean she loves her child any less. She loves her child enough to realize that (at this point in her life) adoption is the best option for both of them.
Even now, many people have the false belief that children placed for adoption are unwanted. All children are wanted, but when a mother is not planning for a pregnancy, she may not have all the resources and support on her own to handle providing for another person. It does not mean she is irresponsible. A birthmother is responsible and wise enough to realize that the love for her child cannot always provide a safe and stable home.
Once faced with an unplanned pregnancy, making an adoption plan is not a decision any birthmother takes lightly. It comes with self doubt, guilt and the wish that things could be different. It takes so much love to make this choice, because birthmothers always feel that they should’ve been able to change their fate. But for some people adoption is part of their fate. Birthmothers learn to love selflessly, and carry that with them into their current and future relationships.
Women often hear from family member and friends how they could never “give their child up.” This gives another false impression that people who raise their children love them more than a birthmother loves her baby. Adoption is not giving up. It’s making a selfless, loving choice for the child knowing parenting comes with moore responsibility than unconditional love and willingness. Many birthmothers are willing to be parents, but they know even if they did their best, adoption is a better alternative than struggling to be a mom.
Does it mean she didn’t think about it? Does she wonder about how the child would feel when he or she got older? Did she consider how she might keep her baby and make it work? Of course, she considered all of those things, and factors only a birthmother would consider. Every birthmother loves her child, and does not have to defend her decision to anyone.