What to Look for in an Adoptive Family
The biggest decision you make as a birthmother is who is right to adopt your baby. Birthmothers who have already gone through the process will tell you that they couldn’t pinpoint one reason, or make a list of their ideal traits. Sometimes, a family will just feel right with you. They may remind you of your family, or maybe one family’s enthusiasm seems more genuine than any other. There’s no formula or checklist to decide who’s the right set of parents or right family for your baby. There’s only you, and your feelings that will guide you to the right people.
We’ve asked many moms who chose Birthmother’s Choice to assist with their adoption, and these are the top reasons why they choose the family they did:
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The family has other children. Some birthmothers feel more comfortable with families who have other adopted children, or biological children so that their baby will have siblings. If expecting twins, you may also prefer to have a family who is willing to adopt both children.
es. This can be a similar lifestyle, religious outlook, a family’s education level and plans for schooling, and many other beliefs. You want families who plan to raise their children the way you would.
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The family is well prepared before they adopt. Pictures of the nursery, or a parenting plan always helps when choosing your adoptive family. It shows that the family is already investing in your baby, and is certain that adoption is the right choice.
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The family was supportive, and didn’t pressure her for a decision. You sometimes might feel smothered by adoptive families who want to gain attention. This is understandable. Adoptive parents usually feel insecure about being chosen as parents. But families who respect your need for space are definitely worth considering.
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The family reminds her of her mom and dad. Most birthmothers want to choose a family dynamic that’s familiar. If an adoptive couple is similar to your parents or close relatives, you will probably be more comfortable with choosing that family.
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The family is pet friendly. Some birthmothers prefer parents who have pets, because they will seem more laid back and their baby will grow up with the joy of pet ownership. If you grew up with pets, ask your adoptive families if they’re dog or cat lovers.
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The family provided great pictures of them, their home, and a detailed profile or adoption letter. This is probably most important. You need to know a lot about your adoptive family choices to feel comfortable making the right decision. People who send you detailed profiles are truly putting in the effort.
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The family is willing to participate in an open adoption. Many birthmothers want to be involved, either directly or indirectly in their child’s life after birth. Read this article to learn more about why open adoption could be right for you, too.
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The parent’s relationship is strong and stable. Birthmothers want to know that the family they choose is committed to each other and committed to creating a happy childhood for their baby. It is especially important for you to get to know booth parents t see if they seem happy in their relationship.
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The parents’ career projections. If you want your baby raised by a family that puts emphasis on education and career advancements, ask about each parent’s’ current job, and career plans. This will also help you know if they plan to move in the future.