The Memory Box: A Keepsake for Your Baby
After pregnancy – the hard decisions, the tears, fears, and finally the birth – you’ll finally have some time to think about you. Probably the only thing on your mind for the past nine months has been, “What can I do for this child that’s about to be in my life?” But now you can spend some time reconnecting to yourself, which is the most important thing to do during postpartum recovery.
In the days after your birth the adoptive family will come and spend a few days with the child. They will get to know him or her, and you will likely get to spend some time with them as well. It will be hard to say goodbye, but if it’s the right decision you’ll know it in your heart. The pain will come from love rather than loss, and you’ll be glad to see your child begin their journey to life and happiness. But a part of you wants to be there, and you always will.
How do you want your child to remember you? Birthmothers wonder when the adoptive parents will talk about them, and what they will say. It’s perfectly normal to be curious about how the adoptive parents teach your baby about adoption. More than anything you want your child to know how much you loved them. You may also want to share with them one day about your life and how your experience helped you choose adoption.
Give your baby the gift of love by creating a memory box. Give it to their adoptive parents so they can open it together when your child first learn about who you are. Make it a keepsake for your child to open when they’re ready to learn about you, your past, and all the hopes you have for their future. A memory box will remind them that they have two mothers who love them unconditionally. You’ll be able to show your child how much you loved them, even before they were born. Fill it with:
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Pictures of you before and during pregnancy
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Pictures of the father (if you have any)
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Your baby blanket or childhood toys
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Your favorite movies or CDs
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Pictures of your family
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Your favorite books or a personal journal
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A family heirloom: jewelry, cufflinks, or any other special memento
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A letter to them as an adult
This way your child can learn first hand everything about you that you wanted them to. The adoptive parents will be happy to do this for you. They too want the child to know about their past. But by giving him or her your own personal belongings you can make that connection more personally. One day the two of you could share those memories together.
If you’re looking for adoptive parents who want you to be involved with the life of your child, contact Birthmother’s Choice. We advocate for birthmothers to have a safe and supportive environment through pregnancy and the adoption process.