Receiving a “Letter to the Birthmother” from Potential Parents
During the adoption process, you have so many hurdles to cross. The ability to find the right parents, build a relationship with them, and go through all the legal processes of adoption can be quite daunting. But some things take more time than others. Reading letters from the parents should be a first priority as you begin looking for the mother who will take care of your child.
Both you and the adoption agency will be reading your letter. You will also get to look at “parent profiles,” online and in classifieds or ads for adoption placement. The letter will have several components, including an introduction, a brief bio of their history, their parenting plans, and contact information so the next steps can be initiated. Most letters will have the following components, which will help you choose your child’s family:
- A brief introduction, explaining why the parents wish to meet with you.
- A section telling you about the parents – their careers, interests, and other details about their personal lives.
- A parenting plan, or the values and methodology they have for parenting.
- A brief explanation as to why they chose to adopt, and why they would be a good fit
- Family photos
“Letter to the Birthmother” letters are more common for open adoptions. You have a say in who your child is placed with, and can have more access to information about the parents. Of course, it is your choice as to whether you want to be involved in the process or not. Many birthmothers like the ability to choose and begin a relationship with the parents-to-be. If offers peace of mind that your baby will be under proper care, and that you have some input in the future your child will have. These letters will help you in that process.
A good candidate will provide plenty of information about themselves, will show empathy, and provides good reasoning as to why they would be capable parents. You’ll want to look for a stable individual or couple, who seems to have a fair balance of work and family values. Your ideal parenting styles should be similar, but they don’t have to completely align. While it’s unlikely you’ll find a family that has all of your ideal traits, you should create a list of “must have” values or characteristics that will help you decide who is best.
You will inevitably pick the parent or parents whose personality shines through their letter. If you’re looking for ways to connect with potential parents, check out our resource for adoption services, ReachSOURCE Adoptions. They will help you find the right person or couple, and guide you through the process of an open adoption.