How to Soothe Pre-Delivery Anxiety

Most women look forward to pregnancy, but feel tense about the actual delivery. It’s hard not to be a little nervous since every birth on T.V. shows a screaming, crying woman who is either very angry or incredibly scared. These sensationalized representations of childbirth leave out the good side of delivery and exaggerate the scary stuff.

You may also be afraid of complications, which can set you in panic mode before the labor even begins. But remember, your doctor will be by your side the entire time. You can reduce the pre-labor panic by following some simple tips, from mothers who have been there before:

Find the root cause of your fear and write it down.

Chances are, you have a lot going through your head. Maybe it’s not just one factor of the birth that makes you scared. But, try to take some time for yourself, and figure out your biggest fear. Write down all the causes, beliefs, and stories that have amplified this fear, and keep it in a pregnancy journal. Then, when you feel calm and relaxed (maybe sit down for a short meditation), work through this big fear, one step at a time.

Talk to a friend, therapist, or midwife.

Having a trusted sidekick can help you work through your fears early on. Whether it’s your best friend, your mother, or a professional, admitting your fears to another woman who can empathise and comfort you will help you de-stress. They can work through your “big fear,” (that you’ve journaled) and share their experiences, or at least give you an outlet to vent in a non-judgemental space. Another birth mother who has been through childbirth and adoption, can be very beneficial.

Have a birth plan.

Reading pregnancy guides and mommy blogs will help you create a plan for the delivery. A birth plan includes your preferred methods of pain relief (both medical and non-medical), who your birth companion will be (this can be a best friend or midwife), what comfort items you will need, and how you will cope with the elements of labor. Clear expectations will help you feel more relaxed. While not everything can be accounted for, at least you can plan for the basics, including your comfort.

Practice relaxation techniques.

During labor, your doctor will guide you through the process, from the moment your water breaks to the moment the baby is delivered. Typically, they will encourage you to relax and focus on relieving tension in your body. You can practice techniques such as visualization, use music or aromatherapy, or ask your birth companion to give you gentle massage. You can practice these at home prior the delivery so the feelings are familiar. Mayo Clinic has a great guide for alternative relaxation techniques that you can try.

When your child is born, all the fear and pain will go away, and you’ll be so thankful that you were given the experience. As a birthmother, your adoptive family of choice will love and appreciate your sacrifice for the rest of their lives. So will the beautiful boy or girl that you brought to the world.