Adoption – Know Your Options
Many believe the myth that placing your baby up for adoption means you have no rights and no control. That is a myth! You have full rights and can make decisions up until the moment you place your baby with the adoptive family you have chosen. So, let’s dispel the myth and walk through the process.
Your first choice is one you’ve already made: the decision to place your baby into an adoptive family. Now the question is whether you choose a closed or open adoption. This can be a tough decision; however, if you look down the road twenty years, ask yourself two questions:
- Would you like to meet your child?
- Do you think your child would like to meet you?
If the answer is yes, an open adoption is your choice. This will allow you, your child, and the adoptive parents to have an open relationship and stay in touch.
The next choice you have is who is walking this path with you. Some people in your circle of family and friends may be supportive and helpful emotionally, physically, or financially. Others, however, may be stress-inducing, toxic, or judgemental. It is important to choose who you surround yourself with. Although there are people who may disagree with you or share a different perspective with you, if they are supportive, they are valuable to have in your circle during this time. It’s your choice.
The other choice you have is when you consider adoption and how long you take to decide and choose an adoptive family after you have decided placing your baby up for adoption is the best choice for you and the baby. Some people need time to gather information, speak to other birthmothers, and confirm they are making the best choice. Birthmothers also need to prepare to take time to find the right adoptive family, one they feel comfortable with, especially if it’s an open adoption where the relationship will continue. Birthmothers may find the right adoptive parents immediately or they may need months to search. It is important to allow yourself enough time not to rush this choice.
Finally, it is important to realize it is your choice to place your baby for adoption and you can choose to change your mind. There are professionals, in addition to your family and friends, who will be on this journey with you and will walk you through the steps you need to take as you make each of these decisions.